I realize that I need other people to get through this whole college thing. I hang out with other people because I need to get away from just school school school sometimes. I need people to talk to. I need to hangout. I need someone who will have my back & I will have theirs.

One thing that I never really did let go of is my school work. I really started to struggle this semester. I didn’t think anybody could really help me with my school work. Surprisingly, that’s a huge benefit to joining a sorority. They won’t get ready to have fun unless everyone (and I mean everyone) has their work done. I like it!!! It’s not one of those group things where we meet up & then talk about everything but hw. They look at your grades & then they let you know what you should be focused on. It’s just great. I let go of all that stress. 

I’m getting my hw done with my girls & then I meet with them later on :)

Not a big deal at all but…

When I was younger I used to hate greeting people because in my culture that means kissing the persons cheek no matter how sweaty they are. My mom used to hit me everytime I tried to get away from it.

This sorority that I plan on joining is hispanic & it just bought back all the memories haha. It’s not bad though because I only greet them that way.

So i’m clicking on tumblr pages at random & while i’m on the phone, I leave a page up without looking at it. My roommate walks by & just stares in shock. As she’s rushing away, I notice the title of the page is “hornygirlproblems” in big bold letters -_- it’s 12 am & she’s still not back… You can come back home now laura lol. I’m embarrassed.

I just noticed the new Tumblr buttons & they look cray ;) I like ‘em.

Ok so my hair is still falling out (Alopecia). I’m not sure why but i’m not upset. I freak out a little when I feel my scalp in a new spot but I don’t even care anymore. I will have to explain to my friends soon when it get’s bad though. I remember how bad it used to be in HS. People would stop me in the hallway & say “I don’t know if you know this but…” Back then I used to be a little sensitive about it but now I’m like “Yeah man don’t you think I know my own hair is falling out?!?” Lol just let it slide. One thing that irks me though is when people tell me straighten my hair -_- & it’s the same darn disrespectful people all the time.

I obviously can’t if my hair is already falling out. It’s not your decision & quite frankly I don’t care if you don’t like my kinky curly hair. Go stare in the mirror if your hair is the only one you can stand to see or go straigthen your own hair to make yourself feel better but don’t tell me what to do!!! (most of my friends support me & don’t care about this though).

My mom just got a job & she’s excited because it means that I’ll have health insurance again & I can go see my doc. Yippee.

My new church is the bomb.com. The Pastor is funny, the people are really nice, I can identify with the messages & the people, & I am actually learning.

I’m really glad I decided to join a sorority. They accept me for who I am, we have a lot of fun together wherever we’re at, they bring the best out of me, they don’t judge me & they keep it real. 

I was super stressed out about school & these sorority girls just made it better. Just studying with them got me motivated. It made me feel a lot better to know that they’re in the same position & they’re holding me accountable for my grades. 

I can’t wait to be 18 next month. College sure won’t be the same hehe :) I’m so excited to spend it with my new friends <3

Again, this is just my opinion and I am not judging because this is something I have to figure out for myself when the time comes.

One thing I’ve noticed with Christian girls in college is that so many of them will tell me that they’re still virgins & they’re saving themselves for marriage… then they turn around and tell me the sexual things they do with their partners. I am not telling you this to put anyone of these ladies out/down. If your boyfriend is groping you, if you guys have to do whatever you’re doing in a room, or doing anything else together while your clothes are off, what’s the point of waiting? If I were in that position, I would just go ahead and have sex. Why? I am already offering my body to man sexually. I am already sinning. What’s the point of putting yourselves through the agonizing pain of waiting when you are already sinning sexually without any remorse?

If i’ve got this all backwards or if there’s a reason why we as Christian ladies can do anything with a guy as long as it’s not intercourse, please let me know. Again, I am not judging because I am in a situation where i’m trying to figure out if I want to stay a virgin any longer. This is something that I’m curious about. 

The new church I go to is awesome! I love how the pastor can relate us as college students & how he encourages honesty. He knows that students in the church are struggling with whether or not they should sleep around, go clubbing, get drunk, or hang out with people they don’t even really feel comfortable hanging with. 

At my old church on campus, we would never speak of this. It’s too shameful and of course we were so “holy” the pastor didn’t have to worry about us doing any of this. I felt as if it was fake. There were so many times I just wanted to talk about it or ask “WHY shouldn’t I do it?” but I knew that it wasn’t a subject they wanted to talk about.

I went to church this morning struggling. Yes, I am struggling again. Pastor mentioned that we can’t keep sinning like this because when we do, we are in a place of darkness and God isn’t darkness. You won’t find him there but he is still calling you out of it. God has chosen us to come out of this.  

I really to say that I won’t go clubbing for my 18th birthday, I won’t drink, I won’t join a secular sorority, & that I won’t lose my virginity but I know I need help with all of that. I need help through this because it’s tempting even when I know what’s right.

I really wish USF had a christian sorority. UCF, UNF, & UF have them. Why did I choose to go to USF again? lol my first encounter with a faith based group on campus turned out to be a cult. I left and it was extremely difficult on me. I have what’s left of my faith and absolutely no one on campus to fellowship with.

I just really want the sisterhood and i’m going to join one no matter what but it would be nice if it were christian. I can still transfer to UCF this summer. Nothing is keeping me here at USF.

I feels great to finally be a in a group with women! =D 

I’m not sure if that’s a good thing though. I want to say it isn’t a bad thing only because I wasn’t meant to be alone. I shouldn’t have to go through this whole college ordeal without another human being by my side. I’ve got God & I know he comes before everything. I should never let myself get blinded. He’s my best friend. It just feels great to have sisters (IG) in college ya know?

If you feel like you’re at the bottom and there’s no way to get up well it can only get better right?

….I sure hope  so

Only four hours of work left to go but I am already worn out. My french lit class makes me hate my life. It’s harder than Physics. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep it up between my classes & all these papers I have to write, work, going to a bunch of meetings, trying to figure out what I want to do after graduating, and finding an apartment. I almost cried in french lit today. No professor, I don’t know how Abelarch’s work (Heloise) compares to rousseau!!!! Why can’t we just write in this class and why do we have two major papers do the same week???!!!?!??!?!?  If anything else goes wrong, I will breakdown. I just can’t do it anymore.